


Your Pain Is My Own

by phoenixremains



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Dot and Shelby are best friends and it’s great, F/F, F/M, How Do I Tag, Marcus is a real person, Shelby Goodkind is already out, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, The Unsinkable Eight (The Wilds), Toni is a huge flirt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-11 22:54:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29500239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixremains/pseuds/phoenixremains
Summary: Toni Shalifoe is a 20-year-old basketball player. Shelby Goodkind is a 20-year-old Texan. Toni has never believed in soulmates. Shelby has spent her whole life looking for hers. What happens when they end up at the same university, and one of Toni's best friends is Shelby's roommate?Soulmate AU where whenever your soulmate gets hurt, you feel their pain and get the marks.
Relationships: Dot Campbell & Fatin Jadmani, Dot Campbell & Shelby Goodkind, Fatin Jadmani & Shelby Goodkind, Fatin Jadmani/Leah Rilke, Leah Rilke & Toni Shalifoe, Martha Blackburn & Toni Shalifoe, Martha Blackburn/Marcus, Nora Reid & Rachel Reid & Toni Shalifoe, Rachel Reid & Leah Rilke, Regan & Toni Shalifoe, Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 45
Kudos: 289





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first shoni fanfiction so I hope it's good. I'm not in university so there won't be a big focus on the school part. I'm also not used to writing in the third person so there might be some slip-ups.

Toni is carrying a box into her dorm room when she runs into the doorknob, making her groan. She knows it's going to bruise, which makes her cringe internally. The brunette has always felt bad for her soulmate. She knows she gets hurt a lot, so she knows her soulmate's body is always covered in marks. Not that she cares about her soulmate. She assumes whoever it is will leave her exactly like everyone else.

"Toni!" The short girl hears, snapping her out of her thoughts. She looks in the direction of where the voice came from and sees her best friend Regan walking over. In high school, Regan and Toni briefly dated, until Toni got a black eye and Regan didn't. Regan always wanted to find her soulmate, so Toni understood when they broke up. "Hey Shalifoe. I was just coming from Rachel and Martha's dorm. When we're all done moving in we're gonna check out Nora's dorm. You wanna come?"

Rachel Reid, Martha Blackburn and Nora Reid. Toni's only friends that aren't Regan. Rachel and Nora are twins, but couldn't be more different. Martha is like Toni's sister. When Toni was being moved from household to household Martha's mom took her in so she wouldn't have to move around during high school. Toni and Regan were fortunate enough to be assigned the same dorm, as well as Martha and Rachel. Sadly, Nora didn't get the same fate.

Toni nods. "Yeah, sure that sounds good. I'm almost done. This is my last box." She says, looking at the cardboard box in her hands. Toni doesn't have many possessions, which made her moving in go fairly quickly. Once Regan and Toni are done getting their stuff into their dorm, they head to Martha and Rachel's dorm. Regan knocks on the door, earning a loud "come in!" from inside the room.

The girls walk into the room and look around. Martha peaks out from behind a stack of boxes, making Toni smile. "Hey Marty B." Martha walks over and engulfs Toni in a hug. If there's one thing you should know about Toni, it's that she hates hugs. Unless they're from her four friends. 

Rachel walks into the room with a box. "Hey, Toni. This is the last box we had to bring in. I assume Regan told you the plan to visit Nora?" The taller girl asks, earning a nod in response from Toni who's no longer hugging Martha. "Great. Let's go then. I hope she wasn't stuck with some loser for a roommate." 

The four girls walk out of the room. Rachel walks a little in front of the other three, as she's the only one that knows where Nora's dorm is. "Oh, so Toni. I may have gotten a glance into Nora's room when I dropped her off and I think I saw a cross. Be nice to the other girl, okay? Don't want to make Nora's life a living hell, y'know?" Rachel says, turning back to look at Toni. 

Everyone knows how Toni feels about Christians. Throughout the entirety of high school she was told she was going to hell for being gay, so can you really blame her? "Yeah alright. I'll play nice. But just for Nora, alright?" She says, earning a grin from Martha. The girl knows it's because Martha is proud of her for not fighting for once in her life. The conversation stops when they get to Nora's dorm.

Unsurprisingly, Rachel doesn't knock and just walks in. Toni follows behind her, eager to see who Nora's roommate is. Nora was bullied a lot in high school, so Toni has learned to be very protective of her friend. She smiles when she sees Nora. "Hey, Reid." She says, earning the attention of the taller brunette. 

Nora goes to say something but gets cut off by a blonde walking out from where Toni assumes is the bathroom. "Hey Nora have you seen..." She trails off when she sees the other girls standing in the room. Toni clenches her jaw looking at the girl. Of course, Nora gets stuck with a blonde white girl that she assumes is from Texas, based on her accent. The blonde smiles at them. "Howdy y'all. I'm Shelby Goodkind. You must be Nora's friends?" The Texan looks at the girls, and Toni notices her pause on Toni.

Great, she must be homophobic as well, Toni thinks. "Yeah, we are. I'm Nora's sister, Rachel. This is Martha, Regan and-" Rachel starts to say but Toni interrupts her, wanting to introduce herself to the girl she assumes is going to cause nothing but trouble.

"I'm Toni Shalifoe." The short girl says, and she sees Regan raise an eyebrow out of the corner of her eye. "Is that a Texan accent I hear?" Toni questions, earning an elbow in the side from Martha. "What? I'm just trying to get to know Nor's new roommate." She flashes a very cheeky, very fake grin.

Shelby smirks. "Yes, I'm from Texas. Yes, I am Christian. No, I'm not homophobic, or conservative." The blonde says, staring at Toni. Toni feels her breathe hitch in her throat, knowing the Texan can sense the hostility off of her. "Since I can tell you don't like me already, figured I better cover all the bases," Shelby says, and Toni feels her face hate up.

"Whatever..." She mumbles and walks over to Regan. Regan looks at her with a huge smirk on her face, and Toni smacks her shoulder. "Shut up, asshole." She crosses her arms, making Regan laugh. She rolls her eyes at the girl, making Regan smile.

"Oh shut up. You know I'm your favourite." Regan says, wrapping her arm around Toni. Toni shrugs off her arm around walks over to Nora.

"No way. Nora is the only one being nice to me today so Nora is." She says, causing the darker girl to smile. They all know she's telling the truth too. She loves all the girls in their own special way, but she has a reason for all of them. She doesn't for Nora. Martha is her sister, Regan is her best friend, and Rachel is her sports partner. Nora doesn't have a category, Toni just loves her.

Toni looks over at Shelby, who's staring at her. "Staring problem, blondie?" She says in a playful tone. She sees a slight blush cover the blonde's face, which makes her smirk.

"Nope. It must be great for the five of you to be so close. Back at home, I didn't really have any friends. Being a lesbian in a very Christian town wasn't exactly something that made me friends." Shelby says, catching Toni's full attention. 

Rachel clears her throat. "Well, me and Martha have a lot of unpacking to do so we're gonna head out. And Regan you promised to help so..." Rachel says, earning a nod in response from Regan. "Toni, you wanna come?"

Toni laughs. "Yeah, I'm not unpacking your shit. Nora is it cool if I hang back here with you for a bit?" She asks, the taller girl nodding. "Great. See you losers later." Regan smacks Toni's arm before they leave. Toni sees Shelby wince out of the corner of her eye but thinks nothing of it.

Nora turns and looks at Toni. "I heard the basketball court is near here. I know you like to go then when you're stressed out. And I know you get tired when you're done playing and just want your Takis so..." She walks away for a second and comes back holding a box full of Takis. "I bought these so you can always come here when you're done instead of having to walk all the way back to your dorm."

Toni smiles widely at her friend. "Have I mentioned how great you are?" She says, Nora, shrugging in response. Toni looks around Nora's part of the room. "Holy shit wait how'd you get unpacked so fast? Didn't you and Rach just get here?" She looks back at her friend.

"Um, Shelby got here early and was already done packing so offered to help me pack," Nora says, looking at the blonde. Toni glances over at her and smiles softly. 

"That was nice of you to do Shelby... I think we got off on the wrong foot. You seem chill." Toni says nervously. She knows she judged the blonde too quickly, which is something Regan always yells at her for doing.

Shelby looks over at Toni and smiles. "Thanks. You seem nice too. What are you here to go to school for? Nora already mentioned she's here for psychology. I'm working to get an English Literature degree." The blonde says, which doesn't surprise Toni.

Nora looks at them. "Toni doesn't know what she's studying yet. She's here on a basketball scholarship. She's really good. You should watch her play one day." The brunette says, making Toni smile widely. Nora has always been Toni's number one fan.

Nora was the first person Toni met when she moved to Minnesota. Toni was playing at the basketball court at the park that was near her house and Nora was trying to find a quiet place to read. She by the basketball course and ended up watching Toni instead of reading. After that Nora introduced her to Rachel and Martha. Toni met Regan when school started. 

Shelby smiles at the pair. "I've never been a huge sports fan but Nora certainly makes a good case... Maybe one day." Toni smiles a little at the Texan. Shelby turns away and goes back to organizing her things.

"So Shelby. Have you met your soulmate?" Nora ass, earning a glare from Toni. Toni hates it when people bring up soulmates around her. She's always judged for not wanting to find hers.

Shelby looks up and shakes her head. "Not yet. I hope I meet her one day though... I feel bad for her. Whoever she is. I used to get a lot of cuts and bruises..." The Texan says. Nora looks like she's about to say something where there's a knock on the door. 

Shelby jumps up and opens the door. "Dottie!" She says before throwing her arms around the girl that Toni is guessing just knocked. "Come in. Are Fatin and Leah with you?" The tall girl asks, walking into the room with the other girl. 

"They're still moving into their apartment..." The other girl asks before noticing Toni and Nora. "Hi. I'm Dorothy Campbell. Call me Dot. Which one of you has to deal with this one for the year?" The girl Toni now knows is Dot asks, wrapping her arm around Shelby.

Toni looks at the two girls. She points at Nora. "She is. I'm just her best friend. She is Nora Reid and I'm Toni Shalifoe. Great to meet you too. I assume you're from Texas too? Your accent isn't as thick as Goodkind's but it's still clearly there." The basketball player asks, sitting up on the bed.

Dot nods. "Yeah, we're from the same town." She eyes the shorter girl. "I assume Shelby already told you she's gay if you're still here. You don't seem like the type of chic that would put up with a perky blonde without reason. You look judgemental." She says, earning a smack on the arm from Shelby.

"Dottie. Be nice. Yes, she knows I'm gay. I'm not making it a priority to hide it here." Shelby says, causing Toni to raise an eyebrow. She doesn't know why, but she feels drawn to the blonde. Like she needs to know more about her. She figures it's just because she's gay and pretty, so she ignores it.

The door suddenly swings open and a tall girl with dark skin bursts into the room. "Ayo!" The girl yells. A slightly shorter girl with long brown hair walks into the room behind her, with a disappointed look on her face.

"I'm sorry. I tried to stop her but, y'know Fatin." The brunette notices the two confused girls sitting on the other bed. "Hi. I'm Leah Rilke and the walking ball of chaos that just burst in is my girlfriend, Fatin Jadmani. Again, I'm so sorry... One of you is Shelby's roommate, I assume?" 

Nora looks at the girl and nods. "Yeah, I'm her roommate Nora Reid. This is my friend Toni Shalifoe." Toni smiles at the two girls that walked into the room. She sees Fatin pick up something she assumes is Shelbys, earning her a slap on her shoulder.

Toni notices Leah wince as well as Fatin, causing her to sigh. "Yeah, that's my queue to leave. It was nice meeting the four of you... Nora, you wanna come with me? I wanna check out the basketball court. There are supposed to be some benches so you can sit and read if that's what you want?"

The taller girl nods. "Cool. I assume we'll see you three around. Shelby, I know I'll see you. Bye." Toni says, getting up with Nora. As they leave the room Toni hears Shelby say goodbye.

Toni looks at her. "Hey, at least your roommate isn't a complete asshole. She's good and kind. It's in her name." She says jokingly as they walk. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter. I'm not sure what chapter updates will be like because I have school most days and I have other things to do on the days I don't. It would mean a lot to me if people would comment and leave kudos.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a party  
> The friend groups meet  
> Basketball Toni  
> Little Shoni one on one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the positive attention the last chapter got. I hope everyone enjoys this one just as much. Also, ignore me saying Fatin is taller than Leah. The thing I was looking at said she was taller but then I realized she's not so pretend I said taller.

Toni wakes up to someone hitting her in the face with a pillow. She opens her eyes, groaning when she sees Regan. She should've figured, Regan and Nora are the only ones that have the guts to wake Toni up. "What do you want." The taller girl questions, trying to pull her blanket over her face. She whines when Regan rips it off of her.

"Get up. I'm hungry and we both know you're the better cook." Regan says, trying to pull up the stubborn brunette. Due to Toni's moving around a lot, she learned how to cook. She realized that nobody was cooking for her so she learned how to cook for herself. She wasn't very good until she moved to Minnesota and Martha's mom helped her get good at it. 

Toni looks at Regan and groans. "Fine. But you better have made coffee. And if you didn't go buy some or something. I need coffee." She says before standing up. She finds her camo hoodie and pulls it on before walking to their fridge. "Dude. I can't make you breakfast when we don't have any fucking food." She says, turning back to look at Regan.

Regan laughs. "Yeah, we should probably buy some food... I heard there's a coffee shop on campus. We can go there. Get some food and that coffee you requested... get dressed though. You look like shit. And smell gross too. Jesus take a shower." She says jokingly, pushing the basketball player away.

Toni slaps her shoulder and walks away. "I'll get dressed but I'm not showering. That's for weekdays. It's only Sunday." She says, looking through her box of clothes. She hasn't finished unpacking yet. After going to the basketball court with Nora the night before she was too tired to worry about it. She plans on doing it sometime later.

Once the girls are both dressed they leave their dorm and search for the coffee shop. "If we get lost I'm seriously never gonna forgive you. That shit would be so embarrassing." Toni says, shoving her hands in the pockets of her shorts.

Regan goes to say something when a girl yells. Toni looks over in the direction of the voice and recognizes the girl as one of Shelby's friends. The girl walks over. "Hey Toni, right? I'm sure you remember me. I'm Shelby's friend Fatin. I don't know who you are though, which is fine." She says, looking at Regan. "Anyways, I'm throwing a party tonight. For like one last big thing before school takes over our lives again. Despite Leah's wishes to just chill... anyways, invite whoever you want. We're in the apartment complex just down the road. Room 157. See you there." The tall girl says before walking away.

Regan looks at Toni confused. "She didn't even ask my name..." She says, causing Toni to laugh. Toni bumps her shoulder against Regans before starting to walk again.

Eventually, the girls find the coffee shop. Once they order their coffee and food, Toni starts her rant on coffee sizes. "I'm just saying. There's a reason small, medium and large exist. I don't understand why they have to be so fancy..." She trails off, seeing Martha walk in with a certain blonde Texan. "Weird..." She mumbles.

Regan looks where Toni is before raising an eyebrow. "Jealous? Don't worry. You know Martha would never replace you... Hey, do you think Shelby is single? She's not bad looking." She says, catching Toni's attention.

"Not sure. But we both know you won't date her if you're not soulmates so let's test this theory." She says before slapping her best friend on the shoulder. She looks over and sees Shelby completely unaffected. "Well, guess that's the answer to that question." She says, looking back at Regan. The shorter girl hits her back, making her wince. "Yeah, I deserved that..." 

Their names get called, signalling their stuff is ready. Out of the corner of Toni's eye, she sees Martha perk up upon hearing Toni's name. When they make eye contact, Martha waves them over. Toni and Regan collect their coffee and food before walking over. "Hey Marty. Shelby." Toni smiles at them.

Shelby looks at the two girls. "Hey. Fatin told me she ran into you two. Do you plan on going to her party? Parties aren't usually my thing, but I've never missed one of Fatins. They are the absolute best." The Texan said, a huge grin on her face.

Regan smirks. "Hey, Toni is the same way. The only time she would go to a party is if it was to celebrate a basketball win. But yes, we will be there. Right T?" She says looking at Toni, who looks like she's about to punch her in the face.

"I wasn't planning on it but based on the look on all three of your faces, I don't think I really get a choice. But we're inviting Rachel and Nora." Toni says. Whenever she had to go to a party, she and Nora would end up leaving early and go to the basketball court instead. 

"Actually, Nora already said yes to coming. Fatin stopped by our dorm and told her she had to go. She heard Fatin say she invited you two so said yes. You and Nora seem pretty close... Are you two like, together?" Shelby asks, making Martha and Regan burst out in laughter.

Toni scrunched up her face in disgust. "Me and Nora? God never. She's like, one of my best friends. Basically my sister at this point. Besides, she wants to meet her soulmate and that isn't me. Even if it was, we wouldn't be together." She sees Shelby tense up at the mention of soulmates, making her instantly curious. 

"Anyways me and Toni gotta go, so we'll see you guys at the party later," Regan says smiling. They say their goodbyes before leaving. "Dude, that girl totally has feelings for you," Regan says once they're out of the coffee shop. Toni looks at her and laughs.

"Oh yeah totally. She's known me for like a day. There is absolutely no way. Besides, she's definitely the type of girl that wants to be with her soulmate so nothing will ever happen anyways." Toni says, shrugging it off. She absolutely hates talking about feelings. She doesn't do relationships either, so she doesn't know why Regan would even bring it up. 

Everyone has left Toni. Any girlfriend she's had has left as soon as they found their soulmate. Didn't feel bad about it either. She figures her soulmate will be the same, so she gave up on trying to find her. And she gave up on relationships cause she was tired of getting left.

"Whatever. I'm gonna go tell Rachel about the party. You want to come?" Regan asks, sensing how uncomfortable Toni is. That's something Toni's always appreciated about Regan. She knows when to drop a topic.

"Nah. I think I'm gonna head back to our dorm and unpack the rest of my shit. I'll see you later though." She gives her a small smile before walking away. When she gets to her room she unpacks her clothes, which takes her 20 minutes at the most. When she's done she falls onto her bed and decides to just go to sleep, not having the energy to do anything else.

After a couple of hours, Toni is pulled out of her sleep. She opens her eyes and sees Regan standing beside her bed poking her. "Great you're awake. Get up and get dressed. In something more than just your tank top and shorts. I love you, but that isn't party apparel." Regan says before walking away.

Toni sits up and groans. She stands up and finds something more "party-appropriate", which is just some black jeans, a black shirt and a red sweater. Once she's dressed she tiredly lets Regan drag her to her car. "I still don't understand why I have to come." The basketball player groans, getting into the passenger seat of Regan's car.

"Because if you didn't Nora would be all alone," Regan says, which is enough to shut Toni up. The drive isn't very long, considering the apartment is just off-campus. They only drove because Toni was too tired to walk. 

They get to the building and find the room Fatin said was hers. Regan knocks on the door, which quickly swings open. "Toni! Girl whose name I still don't know. Come in." Fatin says, moving out of the way for the girls to walk inside.

When they get inside, Toni notices how packed the building already is. The apartment isn't small by any means, there's just a lot of people. Toni looks around, quickly spotting her friends. She drags Regan over behind her. "Hey guys," Toni says, wrapping her arm around Nora's shoulder. 

"Hey y'all! I'm so glad all of you could make it." Toni recognizes the Texan accent before she sees the girl it belongs to. She looks over and sees Shelby has made her way over to the group, with her friends behind her. "Toni and Nora have already met them, but these are my friends Fatin, Dot and Leah. Leah and Fatin are the ones hosting this event." Toni can instantly tell the blonde is drunk, making her smirk.

While everyone introduces themselves, Toni slips away to find a drink. She hears someone walk up behind her. She turns and sees Shelby. "I have a feeling Nora and Leah will get along... Martha will get along with everyone." Toni says, taking a sip of the drink she found.

Shelby nods. "That's good... I'm glad you came. I have a feeling me and you will be good friends." The blonde offers her a toothy smile, making Toni chuckle. "You dance, Shalifoe?" 

Toni shakes her head. "Yeah no. I'm not a great dancer like... at all. It's a fucking mess." She says, making to blonde laugh. Her laugh makes Toni smile. She doesn't know why, but she feels drawn to everything about the blonde.

"Well... maybe another time then." The Texan smiles before walking away. Toni smiles before walking out to find Nora again. She and Nora stay pretty close together away from everyone else for the remainder of the party.

After a while, Toni looks at Nora. "I think I'm gonna head out. You want to come?" She asks, running a hand through her hair. She's starting to feel crowded, so plans on going to the basketball court back on campus. She's a bit surprised when Nora shakes her head no.

"I'm the designated driver so I need to stay and make sure Rach doesn't end up dead... I'll tell them you're leaving though," Nora says, making Toni nod. As Toni is leaving, she notices Shelby still dancing. The blonde notices her and smiles widely.

Toni smiles back at her before heading out the door. She puts her hands in her pockets and walks back to the school. She stops by her dorm to change and grab her basketball before heading to the basketball court. 

She shoots around freely for a while, pushing away all of her thoughts. Basketball has always been an escape for the brunette. She had a rough time growing up, but she always had basketball. She stops for a second to take a sip of her water when she hears someone walk in.

"So Nora was telling the truth when she said you're good," Shelby says, walking over to Toni. Toni can tell the girl has sobered up a lot, meaning whatever she drank either wasn't very strong, or she's just a lightweight.

"Thanks... I mean I'd hope I'm good. Considering I've played it almost every day since I was like, 8." Toni says, holding the basketball against her hip. She tilts her head to the side a little, looking at the blonde. "So what're you doing here?" 

Shelby shrugs. "I'm not sure. I saw you leave and for some reason felt the need to follow you... So why do you play basketball so much." Shelby asks, sitting on one of the benches. Toni sighs and sits beside her.

"I had a shit life growing up. Never met my dad. I haven't seen my mom since I was 7... I've been moved around constantly since then. All the houses I've been in have been awful. Except for Martha's, of course. So you know with all the moving and abuse and shit, basketball was the one thing that kept me sane... and why am I telling you all this? We just met." The basketball player says, looking at Shelby.

Shelby sighs. "I don't know... do you ever just feel drawn to a person? Like you feel like you need them in your life but you can't explain why?" She looks back at Toni. "My home life was shit too... I'm not trying to compare but I get it. My dad was a pastor. So obviously he didn't take me being a lesbian very well. I kissed my old best friend when I was like, 15. My dad saw... He wasn't very happy. The last 4 years have been terrible." Shelby says, playing with her fingers.

Toni sighs. "I'm sorry about that... I'm assuming that's why you moved here? To get out of Texas? Away from him?" She asks, earning a nod in response from Shelby. "Well... I'm glad you chose to move here. I get what you mean about feeling drawn to a person. I feel like us being friends is going to be a good thing." 

Shelby smiles. "Yeah me too... It's getting late. Walk me back to my dorm?" The blonde asks. Toni nods and stands up. She picks up her basketball and water bottle and starts walking with the blonde. "Nora and everyone else left the party when I did, by the way. You were right about Nora and Leah getting along."

Toni smiles. "Of course I was. I know my friends Goodkind." She says, making the blonde laugh. Toni looks up at the blonde girl. "I'm glad Nora got stuck with you instead of some loser for a roommate. I mean at first, I thought you were gonna be some Jesus freak, but you're not bad." 

Shelby laughs. "Yeah, people tend to make that assumption about me. If you had met me last year, you would've been right about that. I mean, of course, it was all for show but..." She shrugs. They get to the door of Shelby's dorm and she looks at the shorter girl. "Give me your phone."

Toni raises an eyebrow but unlocks her phone and slowly hands it to Shelby. She sees Shelby type something in before handing it back. She looks at it and sees Shelby put in her number. She laughs when she sees what Shelby put her contact as. "Jesus Freak. Seems fitting." She says with a smirk.

Shelby chuckles. "Yeah, I thought so. Don't be afraid to text me, Shalifoe. I'll see you around." She smiles before walking into the dorm. Toni bites her lip and looks at her phone again.

She shakes her head and puts her phone in her pocket before starting to walk back to her room. She feels like the Texan needs to be in her life, but she doesn't understand why. She runs a hand through her hair as she walks back to her dorm. What is going on with her? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. Again, comments are greatly appreciated. I love hearing what people have to say about my writing. I'd like to note that writing at like 1 am while listening to Taylor Swift is oddly motivating.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to remind everyone I'm not in university, so the parts of this chapter that talk about it may not be 100% accurate.  
> It took me forever to write this chapter because I just couldn't write so I hope it's good.

Toni is woken up by someone pounding on her door, making her groan. Classes started two weeks ago, and they've been kicking Toni's ass. Basketball practice doesn't start for a month so she doesn't have that to fall back on. And she's barely getting any sleep, hence her anger at being woken up. "I swear to god..." She opens to door and sighs. "Fuck Shelby what do you want."

Over the past two weeks, Toni and the Texan have gotten fairly close. Their two small groups have formed one big one, so they've been hanging out a lot. "Hi. Sorry to wake you up but I'm like, super bored and you're fun to tease." The blonde says, walking into the brunette's room. Toni groans and closes the door behind her. "Also it'd fantastic if you put on a shirt. As hot as you are, I'd rather not be staring at your half-naked body." 

Toni looks confused but then realizes she's just in some shorts and a sports bra. "Shit yeah sorry..." She pulls on one of her tanktops. "Sorry did you just call me hot?" She smirks, raising an eyebrow. She sits down on her bed and looks at Shelby who's face is all red. "Shit Shelbs. I was just teasing you." She laughs, earning a glare from the Texan. 

"Anyways." Shelby falls onto the bed and rests her head in Toni's lap, laughing when Toni tries pushing her off. "Nope. I'm staying here. You're comfy." The Texan says, looking up at the unamused brunette. "Come on you know you love me." She pokes her in the cheek. She giggles when Toni's face turns red.

"Fine. But you do not tell anyone about this. Understand, Tex?" Toni asks, and Shelby nods grinning. "So why come to me instead of any of your other friends blondie?" She says, subconsciously starting to play with Shelby's hair. The action doesn't go noticed by the blonde, who now has a faint blush painted across her face.

It's no secret the girls find each other attractive. Neither of them would make a move, though. Shelby wants to meet her soulmate and Toni doesn't. So it wouldn't work, soulmates or not. "I didn't want to go all the way to Leah and Fatins apartment, Nora is trying to figure out who my soulmate is, and everyone else has class. I knew you'd be asleep though, so I figured I'd harass you." Shelby says grinning.

Toni nods. "Well, my first class was early this morning mean I'm sure you'll get pretty annoying by then but I supposed I can always suffer. Regan will be back in like, an hour, just for the record." Toni says, and Shelby abruptly sits up. Toni raises an eyebrow at the blonde, very confused. The Texan jumps off the bed and looks at Toni.

"As much as I love Regan, I feel like just hanging out with you today so... Get dressed properly. We're going out. I'll be in the hallway." She winks and walks out of the hall. Toni shakes her head at the blonde. She questions how she always has the energy to be going out. Toni would much rather stay at home whenever possible. Still, the brunette changes into proper clothing, grabs some of her things and walks out into the hall.

"Alright, Blondie. Lead the way." Toni says, shoving her hands in the pockets of her jacket. She follows Shelby as she starts walking. "So when you say 'we're going out', do you mean somewhere big or like just somewhere small and chill?" She asks, looking at the taller girl. She's already been dragged into one of Shelby's big shopping sprees, and her wallet won't be very happy if that's what Shelby means. 

"We aren't doing anything big, don't worry. We're just gonna go bowling, get some food. Just hang out." The blonde smiles, laughing at Toni's annoyed expression. Shelby loves bowling, and they've gone literally 3 times in the past two weeks. "Don't worry my dear Antonia, it'll be fun." She says, earning a light smack from Toni. It's not hard enough to hurt though, Shelby notices.

"I regret telling you my full name, bitch." She crosses her arms, making Shelby laugh. "Just for the record, you're paying for bowling and food. You made me wake up and leave my dorm, on a Friday. I was sleeping." Toni says, knowing Shelby will never disagree. She's come to realize that if she asks Shelby for stuff, she'll usually agree. This has caused Shelby to endure a lot of teasing from her and their friends.

"Fine. But only because you asked oh so kindly." The taller girl says sarcastically. They get outside and walk to Shelbys car. "And before you ask, no, you may not have aux. I'm already paying for you. I get to choose the music." She winks and gets into the car. Toni groans dramatically before swinging the door open and plopping down in her seat. "Don't act all grumpy. You know you love me." Shelby smirks.

Toni just rolls her eyes and pulls her seatbelt on. "I mean, I love that you buy stuff for me. Careful with that, by the way. Wrong person hears that shit they'll think we're dating." She notices the blonde tense up beside her. She remembers Shelby talking about how she's never been in a good relationship. "N-not that you'd be a bad girlfriend or anything... Just don't want people to think you're not available. Can't find your soulmate that way..." She says, just rambling. 

Shelby looks at her out of the side of her eye. After a minute she says something. "For what it's worth, dating you wouldn't be awful either. And I'm sure people would want to date you if nobody cared about soulmates." Toni looks at Shebly, confused as to where that came from. "I mean god knows I would..." Shelby mumbles, but not loud enough for Toni to hear.

It's no secret that the girls find each other attractive. But Shelby could never like her, right? I mean she wants to find her soulmate. And Toni very much doubts that's her. And even if she was, Toni doesn't want to feel like she truly belongs with someone just to be left again. But would Shelby really leave her? Toni shakes the thoughts out of her head when she hears Shelby start playing Taylor Swift through the car's speakers.

Toni looks at Shelby and groans. "Seriously? Taylor Swift? Again. Do you not listen to anything else?" She asks, the blonde shaking her head no in response. "Of course not... thank god the bowling alley is nearby. I mean don't get me wrong, she's a great person and she has a nice voice but her music just isn't my thing... I do like that one album reputation though."

Shelby looks over at Toni. "Yeah, that makes complete sense. Growing up my parents would play her because she used to be super country. However, when she started voicing her political opinions, I wasn't allowed to listen to her. So whenever I would go to my friend's house we would listen to Taylor Swift... I stopped again after she passed away." The blonde says, trailing off at the end.

"Shit Shelbs. I am so sorry. I will never trash Taylor in your presence again. I didn't know what she meant to you." She says, Shelby just nodding. Toni bites her lip and just looks out the window, not wanting to say anything to upset Shelby. She doesn't know everything about Shelby's past, and Shelby sure as hell doesn't know everything about hers, but she knows they were both fucked up. Maybe that's why it feels like they need each other.

"Alright, we're here. Get out of my car Shalifoe." Shelby says smirking as she gets out of her car. Toni rolls her eyes but gets out of the car and follows Shelby. "I'm gonna kick your ass today. I've been practicing. I can stop the ball from going into the gutter without using the bumpers." The blonde says proudly. Shelby is not good at bowling. At all. Toni doesn't understand why she likes it so much. 

Toni laughs and shakes her head. "Whatever you say, Blondie. We both know you suck, but whatever you say." She winks and walks into the alley. She hears Shelby groan, making her chuckle. Shelby pays for the lane and their shoes. They put them on and walk over. "Alright, I'm gonna go get us some food." She says, picking up the $20 bill Shelby put on the table for when they wanted food.

She walks over to the food area. "Hey. Can I get a large basket of fries and two cokes?" She asks the girl behind the counter, who doesn't seem to be paying attention. The girl looks up and her eyes widen, making Toni raise an eyebrow. "Actually no sorry a coke and a lemonade." She says, suddenly remembering Shelby isn't the biggest fan of pop unless it's ginger ale, for some reason.

The girl behind the counter nods. "Yeah. That'll be $7.50." She says, taking the bill from Toni. She hands back her change and then looks at her. "So. You here with anyone? I feel like I've seen you and your friends here a lot recently. You're our best customers." The girl is obviously flirting. Anyone could tell. Except for Toni, of course, seeing as she's the most oblivious person on the planet. 

Toni nods. "Yeah, I'm here with one of my friends. The one who keeps dragging us here, of course. Fucking sucks at bowling yet it's like her favourite thing to do ever..." She shakes her head, thinking of Shelby. "So uh how long do you think our stuff will take... Sophie." She says, looking at the girls' name tag. This is her fourth time coming here. She always orders the food. How has she never seen this chic? 

"It'll be ready in just a minute," Sophie says, realizing Toni has no interest in her. She does however notice Toni looking back over at Shelby. "You said you're here with your friend? Well, you are giving her some serious heart eyes. You sure she's just a friend?" She asks, raising an eyebrow as she grabs Toni's things. She sees Toni snap her gaze away from Shelby.

"Yeah. She's just a friend. Not that it's any of your business." Toni says, suddenly getting very defensive. She takes their things, mumbles a thank you and walks to Shelby. "Bitch had the audacity to insinuate I was lying. And, I'm pretty sure she was flirting with me. She's not even that hot. Even you're more attractive." Toni rants, ignoring Shelby's confused look.

"Okay... well uh I put our names in so we can just start. And calm down, Toni. I'm sure she didn't mean anything by whatever she said. I will take the compliment, though." The Texan says, winking at the now very flustered Toni. She laughs at the redness of the shorter girl's face. "You're cute. Now go play. I let you start." She says, popping a fry into her mouth.

Toni glares at her and walks over to the lane, picking up a bowling ball. From there on they get more and more competitive. Toni wins, of course. And it's by a lot. "Aw don't worry Shelby. I'm sure most girls don't look for a girlfriend with amazing bowling skills. If they do, they're fucking weird. Now let's go cause these shoes are uncomfortable. I'll even be nice and buy some McDonalds cause I really want some." Toni says, making the blonde laugh.

They return their shoes and walk outside. Shelby wraps her arm around Toni's shoulder, which is something Toni has come to grow comfortable with. "Thanks for coming out with me today. You didn't have to, but it was really nice that you did." She says, looking at the shorter girl. Toni feels a flutter in her chest but pushes it down, knowing nothing good will ever come from having feelings for the blonde.

Toni goes to say something when she hears a man's voice. "Hey ladies!" She shrugs off Shelby's shoulder, having had to deal with this numerous times before. She turns and sees a guy around their age walking over. "Where are you two beautiful women headed? You two should come and keep me some company." He says, looking at Shelby.

Toni pushes Shelby behind her when the man takes a step forward. "Sorry dude, but we're not interested. Maybe if you stopped being a creep and found some people that actually liked guys, you would have a little more luck. Let's go, Shelby." She goes to turn around but the man pulls her back. She sees Shelby take a step forward but shakes her head, knowing she needs to deal with this alone.

"I'm not done until I say we are, bitch." He says, Toni, shoving him off. "I was just trying to be nice. Apparently, you don't know how to do that." He says, grabbing her again. Toni glances back at Shelby before punching the man in the face. "You bitch!" He yells, punching her back, knocking her to the ground. Before she can even register what's going on, the man is gone and Shelby is helping her up.

"Let's get you home," Shelby says quietly, leading Toni to the car. The drive is silent, and it's making Toni nervous. She remembers this happening before. A situation like this is what lead to Toni and Regan's breakup. A guy harassed Toni, she got hurt. Regan didn't. "Are you okay... Obviously, a guy just attacked you..." Shelby says, earning Toni's attention. 

"I'll be fine. I've dealt with this before. I'll have a black eye for a few days but then I'll be fine." The shorter girl says, looking out her window again. If she was really paying attention, she would've noticed Shelby tense up at the idea of having a black eye. After a few minutes, they get back to campus and get to Toni's dorm. "Um if it's alright with you, I'd rather be alone right now? Regan will be home soon and she'll help me with anything I need." Toni says, refusing to make eye contact with Shelby.

"Yeah of course. You can text me if you need anything. See you later, Shalifoe." Shelby says before walking away. Once Shelby gets to her now empty dorm room, she looks in the mirror. She notices the redness around her eye, confirming everything she thought. Toni fucking Shalifoe is her soulmate. She left her dorm earlier because she didn't want to hear Nora talking about her suspicions.

But now she knows. Now her attraction and stupid crush is a bigger deal. Now, nothing can happen. Because Shelby wants to be with Toni. Soulmates or not. But as soon as Toni finds out they're soulmates, that will all come crashing down. Fucking fantastic. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Shelby knows. How is she going to act around Toni now? Will Toni find out? I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. As always, comments are greatly appreciated. I'm going to try to get out a chapter every week around Sunday, but I make no promises because school takes up a lot of my time.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone gets ghosted  
> Group hangout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm loving reading everyone's theories. Some of them will be confirmed/denied in this chapter. I hope everyone enjoys it.

Two weeks. It's been two weeks since Toni has heard from Shelby and it's driving her fucking insane. She's tried texting her but Shelby just keeps leaving her on read. She knows it has to do with what happened after bowling. The incident that resulted in her getting a huge black eye, that has luckily fully healed. She's getting really annoyed with being ghosted, so she's going to confront her. Their group is all hanging out and she's confirmed it with Nora that Shelby is gonna be there, so she's calling her out.

Since it's been two weeks, October has started. This means basketball practice is starting soon. Toni would usually be excited about that, but she can't focus on anything but Shelby ghosting her. They're going bowling today, and Toni requested to go in Nora's car so she can see Shelby before they're with the entire group. She just hopes the blonde is there. 

Toni knocks on Nora and Shelby's door, which quickly swings open. "Hey, Toni. Uh, you can come in. Ignore the mess on my bed... I've been studying." Nora says, stepping out of the way so Toni can walk in. She notices the shorter girl look around when she walks in. "Oh, Shelby isn't here, if that's what you're looking around for. She left earlier to see Dot." 

Toni nods, trying to push away her hurt. "Yeah I figured she wouldn't be here... Do you know why she's ghosting me?" She asks her friend, noticing the fear flash in her eyes. So Nora knows what's going on. Great. Does anyone else? The basketball player thinks to herself. That's probably why she's with Dot. Trying to figure out how to avoid me all night.

"Uh, I think she's just been busy lately. She hasn't really been leaving the dorm. She's been studying though... University." Nora laughs dryly. "Anyways are you ready to go? Rachel said she's already there with Martha and Regan. And that Fatin said she and Leah are on their way. No word from Dot though, which shouldn't surprise anyone..." Nora mumbles the last part. 

Everyone in the group has gotten close, but of course, there are the people that don't click as much. Leah and Rachel, Nora and Dot, Regan and Shelby. They're all still friends of course. But nobody expects them to hangout as a pair. "Yeah, I'm ready. Still offended that Marty didn't want to come with us though." Toni says jokingly. Nora smiles and they walk out to Nora's car.

"So basketball practice starts up in a few weeks. Are you excited? Of course you are, you're Toni Shalifoe... I'll be able to sit in and watch your practices like I would in high school, right?" Nora rambles. Nora likes sitting on the sidelines and reading while Toni practices. She enjoys seeing Toni happy because when they first met, she wasn't very happy. So now she makes sure not to miss anything Toni has related to basketball.

"I am excited. I haven't been able to get out on the court much lately cause school is kicking my ass, so I can't wait to need to be doing it." Toni says, getting into Nora's car. "Was it Shelbys idea to go bowling? Because we haven't gone in two weeks and now all of a sudden we are." She asks, earning a nod in response. At least Shelby isn't ghosting her because she beat her ass at bowling. 

The ride to the bowling alley is filled with the girls just talking about random things. Toni feels anxiety starting to build up in her body as they pull into the parking lot. She's worried that confronting Shelby won't go well, and it'll cause a lot of issues. She pushes the thoughts out of her head as she gets out of the car and walks inside with Nora. "Rachel said they got a lane, and that Dot and Shelby are on their way." 

They get inside and get their shoes before finding their friends. "Toni! I see that nasty black eye of yours has cleared up. You're finally bangable again!" Fatin exclaims when they get to the group. Leah hits her in the arm, making Fatin pout. "Oh, Shelby! You're alive! Thought you were dead there for a while." Toni turns around and sees the blonde walking over with Dot, and notices how Shelby won't look at her. 

"Hey y'all. I'm sorry. I've just had some... stuff going on." She glances between Nora and Dot who nod. Toni is a bit mad that Nora won't tell her what's going on, but she knows there's probably a reason. Toni goes to say something to Shelby but Fatin interrupts to say that the game is set up for all of them to play. After a while, Shelby speaks up. "I'm gonna go get us our food." She says before walking away.

Toni decides to take advantage of the situation and follow Shelby. "Hey!" She calls after her. Shelby stops and turns around, putting on her fake smile. "What's going on with you? I haven't heard from you in two weeks. And Nora won't tell me what's going on. Did I do something wrong?" She asks, nervously shifting her feet. She sees pain flash through Shelby's eyes as her smile falls. 

"I... I'm sorry. Something happened and I didn't know how to react and I just kind of... hid. I should've said something to you and I'm really sorry. It won't happen again. Forgive me?" The blonde asks. Usually, Toni wouldn't forgive someone, she can really hold a grudge. But she can tell that the blonde is genuine, and there is still something about her that draws the brunette in. Toni offers her a small smile and nods. "Great. Help me with the food?"

The girls order their food before walking back to the group. After that, they act like nothing happened. "So T. Basketball practice starts up soon. You excited?" Rachel asks while they're sitting waiting for their turns. Toni knows that swimming season doesn't start until the new year, and training doesn't start for a few months, so Rachel will be living vicariously through her basketball. 

"Yeah, I'm pretty excited. I mean I'll admit I haven't been thinking about it the past few weeks as much as I probably should be but... School's just a pain in the ass. I'll be good once that starts." She sees Shelby glance over at her when she says the first thing. She offers her a small smile and Shelby just nods and looks away. Toni sighs and looks back at Rachel, who's smirking.

"So... When are you gonna tell Shelby about your crush on her?" Rachel says, earning a smack on the shoulder from the shoulder girl. "What? It's totally obvious. I mean that's why you haven't been focused on basketball. We both know that. With Shelby ghosting you and shit." Toni glances over at Shelby to make sure she's not hearing Rachel.

"Dude shut up. You might be right about the ghosting shit but I don't like her, okay? We're just friends. And it scared me that she ghosted me considering the thing that happened right before is the same thing that made me and Regan break up. I didn't wanna lose a friend. So just drop it." Toni says before standing up, seeing it's her turn. When she's done she moves and sits with Fatin and Leah, not wanting to be near Rachel.

Toni's gotten more comfortable with Fatin and Leah and their soulmate shit. She sees how great the girls are for each other. It's very clear they really are soulmates. They're perfect for each other, quite literally made for each other. Fatin is sitting with the taller girl's head on her shoulder and smiles when she sees Toni walk over. "Hey Shalifoe. You're good at this. You been practicing?" The cellist asks.

Toni rolls her eyes. "Oh yes totally. Been practicing just to beat your sorry as." The brunette says with a smirk, earning a smack from Fatin. Leah laughs at them but stops laughing, seemingly seeing something. Toni looks where Leah does but just sees Shelby sitting there. She shrugs it off as Leah just being her strange self. "Hey Rilke you're up."

The rest of the night runs smoothly, Toni not having any more negative run-ins with Rachel. She sees Shelby and Nora talking as they're getting ready to leave, so walks over. "Hey, Toni. Shelby is gonna ride home with us. Just makes the most sense, considering she's my roommate and everything." The darker girl says, Toni nodding in response. She glances at Shelby, who looks on edge. 

They walk to the car and get in, Toni sitting in the back. The ride back to their dorms is pretty quiet, the three of them being pretty tired. When they get to the dorms, Toni stops Shelby before she can walk away. "Hey... So you're not gonna ghost me again, right? Cause like I missed you or whatever..." The shorter girl says, rubbing the back of her neck.

Shelby smiles down at her. "Course not. I mean I regret ghosting you the first time. It was stupid and won't happen again... I'll even text you later." The Texan says, smiling. Toni rolls her eyes and looks up at her, a grin on her face. "Anyone ever tell you that you have an absolutely gorgeous smile?" Shelby asks, making Toni blush deeply. Shelby laughs at the sight. "I'll talk to you later, Toni." She touches her arm before walking into her dorm. 

Toni bites her lip, smiling, before walking back to her dorm. She flops down on her bed and looks over at Regan. "Do you know why Shelby disappeared?" She asks, Regan, shaking her head no in response. Toni nods and looks down at her hands. "Me and her are good now... I was worried I screwed up... It was like a literal repeat of what happened that night you and I broke up. I was scared I lost her like I almost lost you.." Toni says, tears forming in her eyes. Everyone knows this is rare, so this isn't something Regan takes lightly.

The shorter girl walks over and lays on the bed behind her. She pulls Toni into her arms. "You were never gonna lose me, dummy. I still love you. I always will. You're my best friend. You gotta realize that. You always have been. Even when we weren't talking for those few months after we broke up I loved you... But we wanted different things. And you weren't my soulmate. I never should've left the way I did, but you were never gonna lose me."

Toni nods into the girl's chest. They lay there until Toni falls asleep, like she has hundreds of times before. When she wakes up in the morning to her alarm going off, Regan is gone. Toni sees that she left a note saying that she went to class. Toni slowly gets up and gets ready for her first class. She's pulling her shirt on when she hears a knock on the door. She walks over and opens it, revealing Shelby holding two cups of coffee.

"Hey.. So this is to make up for me not waking you up for two weeks." The blonde says, holding one of the cups out. Toni smiles and takes it before moving so Shelby can walk into the room. "So I was thinking if you're not doing anything tonight we could do a movie night. I know tomorrow you only have one lecture and it's late in the day, so I figured you'd be fine if we did."

Toni smiles a little and nods. "Yeah, that sounds good. I have a couple of classes today, but they're all done by 7. We could do it after then?" She asks, the blonde nodding. "Great... Oh but Regan has a class early tomorrow and I don't want to keep her up. I already made her sleep in what was probably a very uncomfortable position last night... We were kinda cuddling and I fell asleep like fully in her arms." Toni asks, taking a sip of her coffee.

Shelby smirks. "I mean Nora doesn't have early classes tomorrow so we could do it at my dorm... Cuddling huh? I didn't peg you to be that kinda girl... I'll be sure to take advantage of that." The blonde winks, making Toni groan. Shelby giggles and looks down. "Alright I gotta get to a class but I'll see you later. Bring shit so you can sleepover. I'll see you at 7, Shalifoe."

Shelby smiles before walking out of the dorm. Toni stands there for a second, just thinking, before getting the rest of her stuff and heading to class. She couldn't like Shelby, right? Shelby is totally not her type. She's always super cheery, which Toni is definitely not. There's no way Toni likes Shelby. That's just not a possibility... Right? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. I wanted to include a bit of Regan and Toni cause Toni's episode was my absolute favourite and I love Regan. As always, I love comments because it shows me people are actually reading and enjoying my writing.


End file.
